Today is my birthday and I have now been on the planet for 56 years. My first reaction was to consider myself on the downhill slide to 60 and to make self-deprecating remarks about getting OLD. But events of the week have caused me to seriously reconsider. A friend of mine, quite healthy and fit, died unexpectedly on Tuesday as a result of surgical complications. I saw her alive and happy Friday night, as did many other friends who attended a Celebration of Life party. It is an annual event to celebrate the life of another friend no longer with us. Now Ann is gone too and we are all reeling and saddened, concerned for her husband and closest companions.
No matter how long 56 years might seem sometimes, it is really fleeting. When I was young, life seemed to stretch out ahead of me into some kind of infinite realm of possibility. Now looking backwards I'm thinking that time seems very short. I have accomplished some things and there are things I still want to do but wonder if I will.
I woke up this morning to a surprising amount of new snow. It's April and it's supposed to be spring. Actually, it is springtime in the Rockies which means that it can snow any time. It is quite beautiful even if it isn't what I wanted. What I want usually isn't all that important in the great scheme of things. It's only the little desires of my ego pecking away at my serenity.
The snow won't last. The flowers will bloom. The trees will be green. Just not today.
But today, the male finches are turning yellow and they are beautiful.
"What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night.
It is the breath of a buffalo in the winter time.
It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset."
--Crowfoot, April 1890